Minimal Effort, Maximum Suspicion

Running on the bare minimum and maximum side-eye.

Meet the crow doing the absolute least possible while serving the absolute most possible suspicion. This funny crow tee is the unofficial crest of the chronically unbothered, the people who carefully conserve their energy for one activity only: judging quietly, thoroughly, and from a comfortable distance. A deadpan, delightful tee for the certified master of the slow, knowing glance who has seen everything, expected the worst, and is impressed by precisely none of it.

Who this was made for

A perfect gift for the low-energy, high-judgment friend, the perpetually unimpressed coworker, or the family cynic with a secret heart of gold. Great for birthdays, group-chat in-jokes, secret-santa swaps, or anyone whose resting expression already says absolutely everything that needs saying without a single word.

The fit and care details

Made from soft, heavyweight unisex cotton that fits true to size, so order the size you already love. Offered in S-5XL, printed on demand in the USA and shipped in 2-5 business days. Keep the suspicious crow crisp by washing cold inside-out and tumbling dry low.

Good to know

Is it true to size? Yes, a relaxed unisex cut, S through 5XL.
Good gift for a deadpan friend? They'll side-eye it lovingly.
How fast does it ship? Made to order and shipped from the US in 2-5 business days.